The match scheduled for tomorrow against the Southwark College Cougars has fallen foul of the weather. It is rumored that the Cougars had shipped in 6 tonnes of snow to prevent the fixture going ahead. Mavericks Director of Football Operations, James Butterfill offered to bring the hair dryer of team captain Alec Hollywood in order to melt it, reassuring the Cougars management team that it was brand new as the skipper preferred straighteners and polish when grooming his extended forehead.
Sadly the Cougars were not prepared to budge and the fixture will be re-scheduled before the Christmas break. On a positive note it allows Joe Horlock an extra week to think of a more original excuse fore the next time that his services are requested. It was rumored that he was unavailable as he has been slapped with a restraining order after persistently stalking Mavericks target Graham Webb. It is unclear on the level of truth behind the story although Webb has called in Mango Patel as security to manage the unpredictable Horlock, the word is that Mango will operate as a bounty hunter, receiving a large stuffed crust and 3 toppings of his choice when he presents Horlock to GW. Horlock has been overheard talking about claymores, stealth killings and grenade attacks in recent weeks and Webb fears he will be the next target.
This is not the kind of behavior that is expected from the Mavericks although it further emphasizes that they are unpredictable and likely to do strange things.
Mavericks veteran, Luke Rutherford (pictured below) speaking from his retirement home in Eastbourne said he was saddened by the news and felt that this sort of behavior was a new problem and not one that he ever saw when he played with Stanley Matthews and Burt Troutman.
College is closed, check the website for reopening times. I may see you tomorrow.
GO THE MAVS!
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